Donnelly '08 - the North (Atlantic) will rise again

It may be a bit early in the political season, but there is too much at stake not to start now. I'm going out on a limb and stumping for a candidate of true presidential timber. That's gotta be a mixed metaphor.

Bear in mind that I'm hardly politically active--or partisan, for that matter. The Libertarian test of political leanings put me at the mushy intersection of liberal, libertarian, and conservative. Nevertheless, after another anaesthetizing session of mass-media news, my eyes - and fancy - were caught by a copy of "Atlantis: the Antediluvian World" on my shelf. That sealed the deal.

In 2008 I will vote for Senator Ignatius Donnelly for president of the U frickin' S of A.

Our country cries out for a leader of the caliber of this great legislator and scholar from my beloved Minnesota. All of those Humphrey boys had their shot. It's time for a leader who actually put the Library of Congress to proper use, producing two learned tomes on protohistory (hmm, a president who reads and writes books...) while still keeping the country together through the dark times of Reconstruction.

OK, the Senator's been dead at least 100 years. Screw the technicalities--his time has come. Again. For the first time.

I ask you: Who better to make sense of our increasingly globalized world than a hyperdiffusionist? Who better to take stock of America's position in the world than the premier chronicler of a doomed, disappeared continent? Who better to unite our fractured body politic than a liberal republican with some real estate he'd love to sell you? Who??

I will strongly suggest that he hook up with the Extraterrestrial Political Action Committee, X-PPAC. Just think of the balance on that ticket!