Overheard on campus 1

Dedicated to M. Colosimo, esq., wherever he may be.

Lewis Black once riffed on a single phrase he overheard in a crowded restaurant, one so bizarre and nonsensical that it nearly gave him an aneurysm:

"If it hadn't been for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

Occasionally I stumble into or pass through conversations in midstream, though my reaction is usually more bemused than choleric.

Today, headed home after a long day of quizzing and lecturing, I heard something that sent me chortling all the way to the El. I pass it on to you, more or less as it impacted my eardrum:

"...I'm talkin's f--kin' one-titted Amazon hookers, man..."

Should've told that kid he needs to see the Dean about a horse. But then he'd probably think he fell victim to what a friend of mine aptly called "slurred hearing."