I see by your ass you have excellent taste

Who started this trend of putting logos and designer names on the back end of pants, skirts, etc.?

I blame school athletic departments. They started slapping team names on legs and rumps back when I was in high school, but you could at least justify it by reference to the "Property of" tag that usually framed that fashion statement. Sort of makes your cross-country runners into human hotel keys--"If found in a snowdrift somewhere, please mail back to..."

Redirecting the question of blame, look at yourself. How much do you have to love your clothier to wear their ad on your butt? I suppose there are more unseemly locales for such designer vainglory. Would you go out in public, for example, with Ralph Lauren hanging off your crotch...so to speak?

There's just no good reason to carry free ad space on your person unless you are paid to do so. Try making that demand the next time you're at a boutique checkout counter: "I want a cut of the ad revenue my ass is generating." They'll probably tell you something catty like "Start hitting the Stairmaster and then we'll talk."

The moral, if that term even applies:
Respect your hindquarters as a mode of communication. If you must, you can indulge in the faux shock of cheeks labeled "Porn Star" or the (possibly more accurate) "Juicy." But at least be creative enough to send your own uniquely degrading message.

(Bear in mind this comes from a kid who, in his custom-made "March Naked" t-shirt, was featured prominently - and gleefully - on a local "Best of the Senior High Class" TV spot.)