Craunch a marmoset? Anyone?

One of the most hallucinatory reading experiences I have ever had was a brief entry in the snottily titled "Complete Book of Failure" treating arguably the least successful dictionary on record.

Republished as "English As She Is Spoke", this was the bastard result of passing English conversational phrases through French and ultimately rendering them in a doggedly literal Portuguese. The entry - reproduced in several places without permission - brings me to the point of cackling convulsions each time I lay eyes on it. It is such a concentrated blast of hilarity that I can't even bear to contemplate reading the entire work.

It's $9 new on Amazon, if you dare.