Satan's Scrotum

In an era where increasingly anything goes in civil society, swearing imaginatively is - I am sad to say - a lost art. (That "Ron Burgundy" stands out in this respect only proves my point.)

Nerd that I was, I tried to cultivate creative cussing in high school. My favorite was the titular epithet; I wrote it backwards on my notebooks. (This jackass claims he created it for his measly band back in 2001. I was saying it in 1991, at the latest. Bite it.)

I'm not talking some return to "Zounds!" or "Odd's bodkins" or anything, rather alternatives to Carlin's scatological 7...which is down to 2 or 3 by now. Far be it from me to reliquish any good old Anglo-Saxon monosyllables. Just read my posts. Nor would I support any efforts to outlaw them, even if it made them all the more effective.

No, I say add more weapons to the arsenal of oaths and imprecations! Let a thousand foul flowers bloom!

Here are some well-tested contenders; feel free to send others.

• "Satan!" (why not take his name in vain?)
• "Great googly moogly!" (loved that Snickers ad)
• "Ohhhh...floppy disks!" (Neal from "The Young Ones")
• "Dagnabbit!" "Dadgummit!" "Galdurnit!" (or anything else you hear on Gunsmoke--curse you MeTV)
• "Dirt!" or "Dirty __!" (you provide the noun)
• "Cow flop!" (from my farming forebears)
• "Bloody poop!" (another of my originals)
• "Caca-pants!" (thanks, Helgie, wherever you are)