Heteroglossolalia 1

Every so often, I will post other people's words without commentary, deep thoughts or jokes or provocations that I've come across in my reading. I leave it up to you, dear reader, to divine which if any reflect my own thinking--and which will infiltrate yours.

I begin with one of my favorites:

"Just because a message comes from heaven doesn't mean it's not stupid."
Jacques Vallée. 1979. Messengers of Deception.

Overheard on campus 1

Dedicated to M. Colosimo, esq., wherever he may be.

Lewis Black once riffed on a single phrase he overheard in a crowded restaurant, one so bizarre and nonsensical that it nearly gave him an aneurysm:

"If it hadn't been for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

Occasionally I stumble into or pass through conversations in midstream, though my reaction is usually more bemused than choleric.

Today, headed home after a long day of quizzing and lecturing, I heard something that sent me chortling all the way to the El. I pass it on to you, more or less as it impacted my eardrum:

"...I'm talkin's f--kin' one-titted Amazon hookers, man..."

Should've told that kid he needs to see the Dean about a horse. But then he'd probably think he fell victim to what a friend of mine aptly called "slurred hearing."

The effectiveness of aluminum foil helmets

4 MIT engineers
1 $250,000 device
many hours of free time
-----------------------------------
priceless insights.

On being flamed by native speakers

Several years ago I put together my own website by hand. It was partly to publicize my own research. But mainly I wanted to make it an informative resource for others.

I decided before embarking on field research to translate some of the pages on my Mexican work into Spanish. Admittedly I'm not a native speaker, but neither am I an idiot (or totally unschooled en español a la mexicana).

While in Mexico, I got several e-mails regarding those pages. Most were inquiries on specific aspects of my research. But one was a total rip on my translation skills. "I hate foreign devils like you debasing our beautiful language," he ranted. "If you can't do it perfectly, don't even bother."

Now, no one flipped out at me in Mexico for how poorly I spoke Spanish. Many of my contacts were actually pleased at my improving efforts at smooth and idiomatic conversation.

After the initial shock, I was filled with more than a little righteous anger. That pseudonymous prick picked the wrong person to play language cop on. I actually care enough to try (badly) to reach out; furthermore, I defy readers without a massive cultural chip on their shoulders to interpret my inept translation as disrespect.

So, if you're out there web-surfing, struggling to read or write English, and you stumble across this page, you won't even need to translate this:

!Bese mi culito blanquito, cabrón!